A funny thing happens when we start to believe that we’re already worthy…
Signs of worth, abundance and joy flow into our life every single day.
They may have always been there, but now we start to notice them more frequently. We have more ‘good’ days than ‘bad’, good things start flowing to us, from the simple (a car spot right outside your favourite cafe) to the mighty (your business starts thriving even though you haven’t changed a thing … except your mindset).
It’s time to transform your mindset and step fully into your own self-worth, so that you can start to enjoy the flow of life that only you can create for yourself. It’s time to start believing in yourself, backing yourself and accepting yourself, telling yourself you’re worthy and then truly believing it.
This will help you release comparison so much more easily, because you’ll actually believe that you can have what you desire too, and that there’s space for you.
You can’t earn it, so you can’t lose it
A little while ago, while on a month-long holiday through the USA, my husband and I went to watch his brother graduate from Harvard. One of the main speakers mentioned self-worth several times in her speech. One of her phrases really resonated with me: You can’t earn it with accomplishments, hence you can’t lose it with failure.
I love this idea so much. We can’t earn our worth, so we can’t lose our worth. We may misplace it, we may bury it under fear and worries, but with a little digging, we can find it again. With a little inner work, we’ll see it’s always been there, and it always will be.
The idea that we need to earn our worth both motivates and sustains us; yet it can also tear us down when we falsely think that we can lose it as punishment, if we believe we haven’t done enough.
Release your perfectionism
When I was in kindergarten, about five years old, my teacher told my parents I’d be my own worst enemy because I was such a perfectionist. I’d colour outside the lines and freak out. Since then, I’ve made a certain peace with this aspect of myself and I now never allow it to stop me from doing something because I think it’s not perfect enough. I’m more than happy to release things into the world, and I trust I’ve always done my best with what I had … but I still like colouring inside the lines.
Our perfectionism tendencies are so tied up with our self-worth and sense of personal value. I know this because so many of my clients tell me they feel unworthy because of their perfectionist tendencies and, of course, I’ve felt it too.
My clients tell me they constantly worry they’re not doing enough to earn their own worth, and as such, they push their sense of self-worth down so low, hiding it in the deepest corner of themselves because they don’t trust it enough to shine a light on it. When I speak to them of worthiness and empowering themselves in our sessions, they tell me of their worries and fears that they’ll never live up to their own incredibly high expectations.
If we feel low, we think one way to get out of our lull is to set new, better, higher goals—goals that we may or may not reach, and goals that might feel so out of reach for where we are in life (not impossible, just not really plausible … yet).
Then if we don’t reach these goals, we blame and shame ourselves. We tell ourselves we’re even less worthy than we initially imagined and now we’ve really gone and blown it and ruined things for ourselves.
When we create higher expectations of ourselves from this state of a lack of empowerment, from the ledge of a perfectionist’s view, we often act in ways that further promote this lack of empowerment.
We’re cruel to ourselves, we put ourselves down.
We block our chances of allowing ourselves to feel valued, validated, recognised and worthy.
By telling ourselves we’re not good enough, we hold ourselves back from having self-confidence, a deep connection to ourselves, and clarity about what we desire.
So many of us feel we have to be perfect before we can deem ourselves worthy. Yet in reality, when we truly feel into our worth, we see we are already imperfectly perfect as we are.
I know this can sound impossible when there’s so much going on for you in your life, when your mind feels like a whirlwind of stress, worry and trapped emotions, trying to find your sense of confidence and inner-belief can feel so foreign.
If you’re someone who constantly doubts yourself, you don’t need to give yourself a hard time about it. Instead, start to see your doubts as little flags that point out where you can start to empower yourself and embody your greatest potential and the highest version of yourself.
When you start to do this, and live with self-confidence, you’ll be able to make decisions from a place of deep inner knowing and confidence, and you’ll find you question yourself, second-guess and doubt yourself less.
Feeling empowered comes from within. Remind yourself each and every day that you are worthy.
Remind the people around you, the people you spend time with each day, and the people you love and admire.
Remind yourself in the good times, during times of struggle and during times of great success and happiness, knowing that you’re capable of higher and higher levels of happiness, success, love, abundance and more.
To help you remind yourself daily, here are some affirmations you may like to work with:
- I am worthy
- I’m 100% aligned to feeling worthy
- I’m 100% aligned to knowing I’m worthy
- My worth is innate
- I am enough
- I am doing enough
- I’m in the right place
- I’m on the right path
- I’m doing my best
To help you really align your energy to these affirmations, I’d like you to do a little journaling activity to clear any energetic stress around them.
You know how sometimes you choose an affirmation, but even as you say it over and over again you can feel your body and energy stressing or tensing?
I’d like to help you clear those stresses first, so working with your chosen affirmation is even more helpful.
In a kinesiology session we set what we call goals, which are kind of like positive affirmations.
Then we align your energy to these goals to create more flow and ease in your life, to allow you to get closer to where you want to be.
The affirmations I’ve given you here are very similar to the kinds of goals we set in a kinesiology session.
So choose some of these affirmations (whichever ones resonate with you the most), write them down in a journal or notebook, and then answer the following questions to clear any stress that may surround these goals/affirmations:
- Do I believe this affirmation can be true for me?
- If not, why? What’s blocking me from believing this?
- What needs to change so I can start to believe and accept this?
- Is there anything I can do right now that will help me feel into this goal, e.g. do I need to move my body a certain way, meditate, journal, speak to someone, let go of something?
- What would change in my life if I believed this goal? Am I fearful of that, or do I welcome this change?
- What’s the best outcome of this affirmation or goal?
You can use these affirmations in any way that feels right for you.
Say them daily, pin them up on your bathroom mirror or fridge, write them on a post-it and stick it on your computer, or even set a reminder on your phone for a certain time each day with one of the affirmations, so it pops up and you have to look at it. In this way, you’re reminding yourself of your worth every day.
That was an excerpt from chapter 8 of You Are Enough.
In exciting news, it’s now out as an audiobook!
Grab it on:
I hope you enjoy it!