How to show up (even when you’re scared)

Sometimes life asks us to show up

Sometimes, we’re ready.

Other times? Not so much.

Sometimes stepping up means making big decisions that we don’t feel ready to make.

Or going to the next level in our business, or in a relationship.

Or saying yes to something we don’t know that we truly deserve.

Sometimes showing up is easy. Sometimes it’s hard.

Whatever it’s asking you to do, however it’s making you feel, and whatever the outcome may be, it’s usually asking you to draw on your inner strength, courage and resilience.

It’s a time you need to trust. Even if you can’t tell the future (which is what most of us wish we could do, in these circumstances), and even if you can’t imagine how it will play out.

Sometimes our brains feel so muddled by the daunting task ahead of us, that we must just listen to what our body is saying.

 

When you’re being asked to show up, how do you feel?

  • Do you feel contracted?
  • Or do you feel expansive?

You’ll likely either of those in your body. A pressure on your chest or a lump in your throat might make you think you’re just scared to step up, or confused as to how you’ll make it work… but you still feel expansive. Even though you feel scared… you still feel in your body that it’s the right choice, the next step you must take.

These physical sensations in your body are just asking you to take note of what you’re feeling, where you’re feeling it, and what it may mean.

Perhaps the pressure on your chest is more in relation to you needing some awareness about a matter relating to the heart meridian or heart chakra. Are you feeling nervous, over-excited, or lacking confidence, doubting yourself and your worth, or burning out while trying to ‘decide’ and force an answer out of yourself?

Perhaps the hollow feeling in your stomach is linked to feeling confused, a lack of assurance, feeling out of control and not in your own power as you take this next step. Perhaps you need to strengthen your confidence in your own personal power… and regain the confidence, contentment and assurance you know you can feel as you take this next step.

 

Sometimes showing up makes us doubt ourselves

When we are being asked to trust ourselves, our intuition, our instincts and our Universe… doubt can creep in.

It whispers things like:

You can’t do this.

Why YOU?

How will you pull this off?

Who do you think you are? What if this is a major flop? What if you can’t make it work? THEN WHAT?

 

If you compare yourself to those who have stepped up before you – and you’re already feeling hollow in your stomach, a pressure on your chest, and a lump in your throat – then wowsers, watch out! You’ll be called to STEP UP in an even greater way, because you first have to get out of your own way.

 

“The effort is in getting out of the way, not in making something happen”

 

This quote came up for me in a distant reiki healing session with the incredible Sara Brooke, that I had during an intense space of me being asked to step up, and it couldn’t have been more perfect.

The message?

Get out of your own way

If you want to step UP, you may need to step away first.

What do I mean by stepping away?

What is holding you back from taking that next step? What are you really worried about in relation to stepping up?

One thing that sometimes prevented me from stepping up was a lack of confidence that I could do it, and a lack of confidence that there was space for me to do it… because I’d seen someone else do it first.

I used to constantly compare myself to others, to the point of breaking, of pain, of crippling self-doubt.

I thought that because someone else had something, that I couldn’t have it too. I felt that space was limited, that there was competition for a limited supply, and that there was simply no room for me if someone got there first.

 

Now I realise how silly that is, and how small it makes you feel.

I finally learnt my lesson by realising that what I see in someone else, is just a little nudge (even if it’s incredibly ‘triggering’ and painful) reminding me, showing me, guiding me to what is possible in my own life.

And something I know is true?

You can do it too.

My healing journey from self-comparison to self-assurance and an abundant, more-trusting, and deeply connected mindset has been about a year in the making, and included LOTS of kinesiology, (mostly with the beautiful Kerry Rowett*), lots of meditation, yoga, space, time, journalling, and sending love back to the person to whom I was comparing myself.

(* As a side-note, when you’re in the throes of self-comparison, linking out to a colleague or friend’s website can feel scary. What if people who are reading this post only go to my friend’s site and then forget about me? What if they like her more than me? What if… what if… what if…? There isn’t enough space for both of us! But when you’re working from your space of abundance, from gratitude, from expansion… you just want to share. And you know that to receive in this life, you must also be willing to give, and it feels easy. You KNOW deep in your heart and soul that there’s space for everyone. So much space.)

My lesson? I can have it too.

And so can you.

 

This week I’ve been called to show up

And I mean, really step up, and show up.

I was asked to reassess how I want to show up in my business.

I was reminded to look at why I show up, and who I show up for.

And I can tell you, it felt really scary.

Ok scary is the wrong word.

It felt terrifying.  

 

And even while I could sense it’s importance, I resisted

And as I was sitting there and wondering “How am I going to do this? What if this all flops? Why am I doing this again? HOW WILL I MAKE THIS WORK?” I got this email, from one of my incredibly supportive readers:

 

Seeing that you are on SMH while walking to my corporate job on this rainy morning just gave me so much joy, excitement and motivation. You are SUCH an inspiration. You truly are my biggest inspiration. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never make it, I’ll never build a successful business bla bla but then I look at all the amazing things you’ve achieved and it gives sooooooo much inspiration! I just wanted to let you know the positive impact you had on me this morning. Thank you 🙂

 

How’s that for timing?

So you can see, that every time you are called to show up, and you say YES, you are helping someone else see what’s possible for them.

And even when you are working from your soul’s gifts, when it things start to flow and feel aligned and incredible and expansive, you will still come up against challenges.

They may feel like the biggest challenges EVER. But the last time you came up against challenges – the last time you stepped up – they also felt huge. And you overcame them… and you’re so much stronger and more intuitive and more courageous for doing so.

When you feel like you’ll never make it, remind yourself that everyone has challenges, and that everyone will be called to step up one day.

When you feel jealous or envious or angry or threatened in relation to someone else’s success, ask yourself what it’s really triggering in you.

I had to learn this all myself. I had to learn how to re-align my energy, and I have grown so much for it. It helped me get on track, and I feel all the more inspired and aligned for it.

So what did I do?

This week when I was called to show up… I let my week slow down.

  • I went to daily yoga classes. Because BREATHE CASS BREATHE
  • I wrote in my journal a lot. Even if it was just a one-liner. Which may or may not have said: “Even when I’m not sure, I still have to trust & love & be patient & show up & do the work anyway.”
  • I made space to do guided meditations 2-3 times a day (my current faves can be found here and here)
  • I had my own kinesiology sessions
  • I had a distant reiki healing
  • I booked a massage
  • I lay in bed in the middle of the day with tea (ok it was only for 30mins but still…)
  • I made space to read novels to relax
  • I ate really well – a supportive, nurturing and nourishing diet
  • I spent time with beautiful friends who made me laugh until my stomach hurt (inside joke: spidey-ant!). I spoke about these huge changes with them… and they too said rise up, Cass, meet this. You can do it

 

When life says SHOW UP and you say NOT YET PLEASE?

Here’s what you can do:
  • Surrender (I know. But it’s necessary)
  • Trust. Trust your feelings, your instincts, the process, the expansion, the signs and symbols, and your guidance. As I type this, I receive an email with a sign from the Universe that I need to take the direction I initially felt drawn to. I didn’t need to second-guess myself, and you don’t need to either
  • Get some support to help draw you out of what’s holding you back. I spoke up in a Facebook group I’m a part of and the girls’ responses were heartfelt and uplifting. Support is crucial. Find what you need, and don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for help
  • Give yourself space and time integrate all the changes, the new feelings and emotions and anything else that comes up for you

 

Give yourself permission to let go of:

  • The fear
  • The procrastination
  • The self-comparison
  • The swirling negative talk
  • The zooming ahead and future-worrying
  • Feeling intimidated by those who’ve gone before you

 

Make you sure do these things:

  • Meet the changes, meet the fear, meet the uncertainty – head on. And then rise to it… with heart
  • Create space in your life, your mind, your heart, and your dreams for the changes to flow and integrate
  • Release any physical, mental, emotional or spiritual stress or tension that’s coming up for you with therapies such as massage, kinesiology, acupuncture or exercise and movement, or DIY therapies like meditation, sleep, laughing with friends, journaling etc. This? It’s key
  • Calm, centre and ground yourself in any and every that resonates with you. There’s no need to let worries or fears get in the way of this
  • Ask for support!
  • Get clear again on your goals, your intentions, your dreams. Is this request to STEP UP bringing you closer to your desires, even if it feels terrifying? Even if the outcome is long-term and doesn’t feel close enough to hold yet? Even if… even if… even if… No matter where this stepping up leads you, is the YES going to take you higher, further, wider, closer?

 

And… if you want some extra support? I’ve been through it, so let me help you.

We can work together 1:1 in single sessions or my 3-month program.

Learn more about working with me.

 

Here’s the truth…

You will be called to show up.

 

What will your answer be?

 

And in the #Truthbomb words of Danielle Laporte:

 

“It won’t be long now.”

 

It won’t be long until you’re there, and you look back with a knowing smile and a sparkle in your eye.

And you’re so happy.

You’re so happy you said YES.

You’re so happy you SHOWED UP.

You’re so happy you listened to your guidance, and heard the message, and set everything in motion for your own glorious success.

 

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Where are you being called to SHOW UP in your life right now? 

 

Here’s to a happy, aligned and over-flowingly excellent 2015.

 

Love,

· CASSIE MENDOZA-JONES ·

I’m Cassie Mendoza-Jones

My work is for you if you’re ready to change your beliefs about what’s possible for you.

It’s time to clear away your blocks, align your energy, and call your power back to you.

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